Ella's Disappearing Trick

If You Weren't Born...

My Dearest Ella, If you weren't born, my child, if you weren't born... If you weren't born, I wouldn't have laid alone, in a hospital bed, like an empty drone. My chest ripping open with lonely cries, for my husband and daughter, sobbing tragic lullabies. If you weren't born, I wouldn't have risked my life, ridiculed by the doctors, feeling endless strife. Day by day they looked on me, with disgust-filled eyes, and some pit-y. If you weren't born, I wouldn't have been in pain, back aching from my frozen position, always the same. I thought if I moved, it might tear the sack, and leak out more fluid, which you already lacked. Yes, if you weren't born, I wouldn't have had stabbing grief, attacking my gut, with no sign of relief. You see, I was told you were as good as dead, when my water broke, and my heart bled. If you weren't born, I wouldn't have had to post, ...

Breathing Easier

Update on Ella: Ella has continued to wheeze mildly for the past day and a half since being on her inhaler and steroids, but her cough has loosened up significantly. She did, however wake up this morning with a runny eye and endless nose-bleed, but those have both since stopped "running". We saw Ella's pediatrician again today and she said that she still hears some wheezing, but that Ella seems to be improving. We'll keep her on her oral steroid for a few more days to make sure she is processing sufficient oxygen and then once that's out, we'll go to a daily inhaler. The doctor also wants to move forward on trying to schedule a swallow study to make sure that Ella is not taking fluid into her lungs when she's drinking. There is a slight chance that we may have to have the study done in Salt Lake because her Ear Nose and Throat doc is there, but we'll see. All in all, Ella is doing much better and we are so thankful that she's br...

I just have to say...God is so good. Two days ago - in the Wilkins home, life was absolute chaos! Between Ella somehow finding and shattering a drinking glass, to her pouring red Crystal Lite all over herself, staining herself (face and hair) and the hardwood kitchen floor, to finding her thoroughly enjoying herself while splashing in the toilet - there were not many "breaks" to be had. Along with the physical chaos, the emotional chaos was running rampant as well. We had to take out a loan to pay for some medical bills that we were accruing and the day that the loan was taken out, we found out that Cal's hours were getting cut at work because of the slow winter months. We didn't know how we'd afford all of our bills! Sometimes, when it rains - it pours! But God is so much bigger than our tiny little problems. Someone recently told me this old saying: "Don't tell GOD how big your problems are - rather, tell your problems how big your G...

ELLA

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